Wheelchair Sex

(Wendy - Houston)

I am in love with a man with a spinal cord injury and we are talking about taking our relationship to the next level. I've never been intimate with a man, so the thought of attempting wheelchair sex is making me very nervous. Can you help put my mind at ease?

If you’re contemplating wheelchair sex, what will most put your mind at ease is having good communication with your partner. He’s the one who can best tell you what his capabilities are, what works and what you can do together to develop techniques that work for you both in the context of your collaborative and caring relationship.

Obviously a lot will depend on what level of mobility and sensation he has. The type of wheelchair he uses also plays a role–can the arms, footrests and backrest be moved? Can he move his body into different positions? Does he have upper body strength to hold you? Can he move out of the wheelchair, say to a bed or the floor, where you can enjoy your encounter? If he’s unable to use his penis for intercourse, discover what his hands, mouth and tongue can do instead. You might also find that sex toys could be a primo way to enhance your lovemaking.

If your partner has an attendant, find out if that person is specifically trained in assisting with sexual matters. Some are, some aren't and some won't want anything to do with it, while others may be willing to help.

You said you’re “very nervous;” perhaps he is, too? Work together by talking and experimenting and soon you’ll be doing lots of enjoying!