My Child Found My Vibrator!

(Cyndi - Sacramento)

Help! My naughty six-year-old went through my dresser drawer and found my vibrator. He wanted to know what it is. What should I tell him?

You’d certainly be correct in describing your vibrator as a toy. And all kids can certainly understand the concept of toys!

While you may be kind of freaked out and embarrassed about this, look at it as a teaching moment. You and your son have stumbled on a golden opportunity to develop his knowledge about sexuality where you can convey the message that finding pleasure in one’s body is normal, healthy and fun, too! The best advice we can give you is to be honest and open about it.

By this age, your son is well aware that touching his genitals feels good and hopefully you’ve already had some discussions on this topic and can openly share that touching yourself feels good to adults, too. Masturbating usually starts quite early in life when infants discover that such touching produces pleasurable feelings. It’s natural for people of all ages to be curious about their bodies. The way you as a parent react to the topic of masturbation can ultimately affect how your child feels about his or her genitals and sexuality in general. Parents (and grandparents) can help children grasp that rubbing or touching the genitals is not “bad” or “abnormal.”

Tell your son that sometimes adults use items like “your adult toy” to make themselves feel good, either on your own or with a partner, but it’s a private thing that should only be done in private places (just like his moments of masturbation). Close out the message by saying that your toy is for you and isn’t something he should be touching. And offer the opportunity to return to the topic if he has questions in the future. But it’s all good–no damage done–and you’re glad you had the chance to talk with him about it, though in future he shouldn’t going through your stuff without your permission!